After experiencing an abusive relationship you try to distance yourself immediately from the abusive situation and completely forget that any type of abuse or violence ever happened. Life after abuse can be difficult.
Starting over and separating yourself from your past is not always easy or perhaps a long-term solution for coping with the aftermath of abuse. Abuse affects your mind, body, and spirit. But there are ways you can start to heal and move forward with your life. Here are some proven secrets about accepting and acknowledging what happened and how they can help you heal.
You cannot pretend
Living in any stage of denial or pretending will make life very difficult and can even cause mental health issues. While it's important not to let your past of abuse define your future, finding a way to distract or shift your lifestyle won't always help to erase your pain and suffering that you have undergone. Work on yourself but don’t think about completely denying your past. Stay honest and true to yourself in recovery.
This is easier said than done especially if the abuser is a family member, were married to this person, or have children together. Your thinking can be distorted and you may even feel as though you don't have to completely walk away from your spouse or partner. No matter what type of heartbreak or loneliness you’re feeling, you have got to cut ties. Go no contact and draw a line in the sand so you will not be abused again. You’ve already made the difficult choice to remove yourself from abuse. Don’t make it easy for that person to wiggle there way back into your life.
Try new strategies for coping
You may have adapted to being silent, submissive and apologetic for your actions. Start working on expressing your desires and needs so that you can communicate better in the other relationships within your life and finally let your personality shine through. Feeling guilty for being in an abusive relationship and isolating yourself from the rest of the world keeps you stuck in a place of suffering.
Start forgiving yourself
You can be your own worst enemy. After leaving an abusive relationship you began to punish yourself for staying and shaming yourself for not leaving sooner. Learn to forgive yourself and find a way to start healing so you can live a happier life without constantly feeling guilty.
Kimesha Coleman is a Motivational Speaker and Certified Results Coach specializing in working with women who has experienced some form of abuse or mistreatment to inspire them to new levels of possibilities by mastering self-esteem. Book your complimentary coaching session with Kimesha.