10 Sure Ways to Know if You Are Dating an Abusive Man

November 16, 2017


Have you ever felt something wasn’t quite right about a guy you were dating or in a relationship with early on but you moved forward with the relationship anyway? As women we tend to get this gut feeling that something isn’t right but when self-doubt kicks in we walk right pass the warning signs that if yielded could save many moments of agony and tearful nights.


As humans we are armed with an intuition that will send signals to the brain warning us of danger ahead. As a survivor of abuse sometimes this signal can be miscommunicated by the voice of the abuser to second guess yourself.


People we have encountered abuse (emotional, mental, sexual, or/and physical) these signals can get crossed due to the manipulation of the abuser.


There were several incidents in my life when I didn’t listen to myself and ended up regretting it. Here are a few most common warning signs you maybe dating or married to an abuser.


  1. Degrades or talks down women, especial his ex-girlfriend.

  2. Shows a lack of respect. Can be rude, cutting or sarcastic to you in front of others (in public).

  3. Possessive and jealous. He looks at you as a guarded treasure.

  4. Listens poorly when you speak and prefers to do most of the talking.

  5. Promises followed by excuses for disappointing you or behaving irresponsibly.

  6. Plans your future together without taking enough time to get to know you.

  7. Need to have sex with him to prove that you truly love and care for him.

  8. Intimidates you when he is angry. Makes threatening comments, such as, “you don’t want to see me mad” or “you don’t know who you’re messing with”.

  9. Has a different set of rules for his behavior than for yours.

  10. Attracted to women much younger and/or women that have had a recent traumatic experience.

I can’t tell you how sorry I was after agreeing to go on a date with a guy I really had no interest in but his charm and firm pursuit for me at the time was perceived as determination. And I was flattered. So I gave him a try.


Needless to say after moving in together the abuse started. 


I was so disappointed with myself but too a shame to tell anyone what happened.


From my own nightmares I share these warning signs to take in consideration. You make be dating an abusive man.


Kimesha Coleman is a Self-Esteem Enhancement Expert and Author of “He Loves Me Not: Buried Tears of Betrayed Love”. Kimesha works with teens and women who maybe suffering from low self-esteem and victims of abuse as they walk through their pains.

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