Try to play it cool if you want. Unless you have mastered SELF, I know we share the same secret. The secret of sometimes being our own worst enemy.
Have you ever been all excited about a new challenge and later find yourself not so interested? Take for instance a new job. I know we’ve all been here. All excited, calling up your friends and family, and even buying a new outfit for your first day. But after few weeks or so you lose your enthusiasm and start to sound like whining Willie.
It’s as if you did an assessment everything that was wrong with the job that you were once so happy to have. Then the sabotage kicks in.
You come to work late. You miss deadlines and regular scheduled meetings. You even get into a confrontation with the manager.
Things are really not looking good at this point. But why would we intentionally make things worse for ourselves after working so hard to accomplish and achieve a goal.
3 Common Reasons We Self-Sabotage Ourselves
1. Lack of Self-confidence – You feel threatened and react to a new challenge by telling yourself “I’m not good enough” or “Who do you think you are”. You question your own abilities and you feel like an imposter at times.
2. Low Self-worth – You feel you don’t deserve to have anything good in life. Low self-esteem breeds from your feelings of unworthiness of success, achievement, relationships or even money.
3. Fear of Success –You have been conditioned to act in a certain way. You fear of losing your friends, not having enough time for your family, or even afraid of once you succeed people may expect more from you. These experiences are now associating success with fear or pain. So every time you get close to achieving success, your subconscious mind will trigger your self-sabotage behavior stopping you from getting ahead.
Transformation – Tips for Overcoming Self-Sabotage
1. Identify self-sabotaging behaviors – Start a journal about your success. This will help pin point when the self-sabotaging behavior starts. Self-sabotaging behaviors can appear around success, money, and for some in relationships. Identifying and acknowledging where you are sabotaging yourself is an important step in making the shift.
2. Be accountable for your behavior – You have full control over your life. Blaming others for your own negative experiences will not get you anywhere. You are responsible for your failure and you are the only person that has the power to change your life.
3. Become the person you want to be – Make plans to change and become the person you want to be by taking action. Change your self-image and self-talk. Create a visual image of the person you want to become, see yourself achieving goals, and being congratulated for your accomplishments. Replace negative words, phrases or thoughts with a positive ones. You will eventually find yourself more confident, capable and worthy individual.
Self-improvement is an ongoing journey and the best investment you’re ever make.
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Kimesha Coleman is a Certified Results Coach that offers practical techniques on self-improvement and goal setting strategies to help you get unstuck. Kimesha is the author of He Loves Me Not: Buried Tears of Betrayed Love which tells about her own compelling story of abuse and her transformation from victim to victor.