Trusting After Abuse: Time, Trust, and Zero Tolerance
It can be a very challenging road to trust a person after abuse has taken place or after you have been in an abusive relationship. Getting back into a situation where you can have a real relationship again or start to initiate trust in another person will take time. Here are some key tips on how you can use your past to avoid abuse in the future as well as learn to trust and have healthy relationships once again.
Learn What Attracted you to a Person
Spending time in an abusive relationship can leave you with some ongoing scars. You may have gone over in your head the reasons why you stayed with your ex and what drew you into the relationship. Understanding what kept you into the relationship can make the chances of falling into another abusive relationship far less likely.
Ease up on Yourself
It can be a common thing to think that you are unworthy of another relationship for falling for someone that was abusive. Forgive yourself for staying with an abusive partner. This will help you let go of your blame and guilt and start fresh.
Draw a Line in the Sand
There are boundaries that must be set and certain behavior you simply will not accept in any relationship. While relationships involve compromise have a list of behaviors in your head that you will not tolerate again. Ever. Such as name calling, disrespect in public, pushing, infidelity, etc.
Spend Time Connecting with Yourself and People you Trust
If an ex took up all of your time and made it difficult for you to spend time with friends and family, spend time connecting with those in your circle you hold most dear. This will also give you time to repair the bonds you have with your own personality. Focus on how you treat yourself and start loving yourself again.
Remember trust is possible if you’re open to trusting again but it must be earned. There is often an extensive amount fear of abuse potentially happening again and it's important to know what to look for. I hope these steps help you to make better decisions in the future. Opening yourself up to another person after abuse and finding a supportive partner can be a wonderful healing experience. Learn to trust yourself and then allow others to earn trust.
Kimesha Coleman is a Self Esteem Enhancement Expert and Results Coach who works with women who tend to cater to others more and put themselves last on the list to get a clear vision for what they really want, and then I coach them through stuck points so they can achieve success. Download you free copy of What My Last Boyfriend Taught.