Self Hatred- Letting Go of Past Pain
By letting go of the past we choose to escape pain and suffering and proceed on a quest to find contentment. This is seen as the release of retaliation in which we harbor internally. It’s the internal punishment from wrong doing that leads to the destruction of self from trauma. We turn the tables of hating the abuser or wrong doers to an act of inflicting pain onto ourselves, an act initiated from the hatred.
We hold on to past pain for so long and our vengeance becomes the substitute for the contentment we seek. We can’t let go because letting go means defeat.
In our pain, there were lies that we have up held and believed as the truth. To let go of the past is to also let go of the lies that have ruled our lives and guided us down the path of self-destruction. By releasing our past we give ourselves permission to heal and learn the truth. By denying healing we give the past power over our lives and continue to live in disconnect with self and with others. The biggest gift we can give ourselves is the map that leads us to the truth. Prolonging forgiveness keeps you in a place that withholds the truth and blocks contentment and happiness.
Many of us attempt to fix the past by entering into similar situations which are destined to trigger old pain. These repeated attempts leaves us in a state of defeat every time and repeated pain. We remain angry, sad, and in suffering by continuing to hold onto the past due to our own stubbornness and pride. Letting go changes the path of self-destruction to a path of victory. Victory puts you in a state of success and we no longer live to seek satisfaction from old pain instead we live to learn who we really are and allow ourselves to experience love.
Forgiveness is given to us, everything else is learned. By practicing forgiveness we set ourselves free to see the truth. By protecting our past and not letting go we secretly create a place of hatred internally in which our actions of self destruction play out each and everyday of our lives. In my book, Mastering Self Esteem: 5 Steps to Move from Suffering to Contentment, I walk you through your pain to a safe place of acknowledgement, acceptance, forgiveness, allowing yourself healing, and by taking off the labels of life. Learn more about 5 Steps to Move from Suffering to Contentment by clicking here.
Kimesha Coleman is a Self Esteem Enhancement Expert and Results Coach who works with women who tend to cater to others more and put themselves last on the list to get a clear vision for what they really want, and then I coach them through stuck points so they can achieve success.