Book Kimesha

Coping with the Aftermath of Abusive Relationships

Starting over and separating yourself from your past is not always easy or perhaps not a long-term solution for coping with the aftermath of abuse. Abuse affects your mind, body, and spirit. But there are ways you can start to heal and move forward with your life. Here are some proven secrets about accepting and acknowledging what happened and how they can help you heal.


You cannot pretend

Living in any stage of denial or pretending will make life very difficult and can even cause mental health issues. While it's important not to let your past such as abuse define your future, finding a way to distract or shift your lifestyle to avoid addressing your issues won't always help erase the pain and suffering you’ve undergone. Work on yourself but don’t think about completely denying your past. Stay honest and genuine to yourself in recovery.


Cut ties

This is easier said than done, especially if the abuser is a family member, married to them, or have children together. Your thinking can be distorted and you may even feel as though you don't have to completely walk away from your spouse or partner. But it’s for your betterment so you can get stronger. No matter what type of heartbreak or loneliness you’re feeling, you have got to cut ties. Going no contact or minimizing contact is absolutely necessary so you will not re-encounter abuse from this person. You’ve already made the difficult choice to remove yourself from abuse, so limiting your access makes it harder for that person to wiggle their way back into your life.


Try new strategies for coping

You may have adapted to be silent, submissive, and apologetic for your actions. Start working on expressing your desires and needs to communicate better in the other relationships within your life. Feeling guilty for being in an abusive relationship and isolating yourself from the rest of the world keeps you stuck in a place of suffering.


Start forgiving yourself

After leaving an abusive relationship you began to punish yourself for staying and shaming yourself for not leaving sooner. Learn to forgive yourself and find a way to start healing so you can live a happier life without constantly feeling guilty.


Starting over can be a bit scary and painful. Looking to the future with no clue of what went wrong in the past leaves you open to more hardship. Here are a few relationship lessons I'd like to share with you in my ebook, What My Last Boyfriend Taught Me.

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